“Many many congratulations to you both. I hope you both know now that along with companionship and love, you both will share your snacks with each other forever. May you both get equal parts always!”

“Wishing the beautiful a couple a lifetime of happiness, loads of holidays, shorter bills, less arguments and more love.”

“Now since you are both stuck together forever, might as well figure out who is the messier one. Sending you two a big hug and loads of blessings as you embark on this new journey.”

“One thing is assured that every married couple fights over the room temperature. May you both always find the right balance and meet halfway. Isn’t that what marriage is all about? Heartiest congratulations!”

“Marriage is like a rollercoaster, there will be ups and downs and twists and turns. Always remember to wear your seatbelt and hold each others’ hands.”

“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”

“Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.”

“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.”

“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.”

“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”

“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”

“Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.”

“A kiss without a moustache is like an egg without salt.”

“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.”

“The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes”

“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!”

“You are a smart cookie. A wise chocolate cake. A brilliant pancake.”

“To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.”

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”

“We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.”

“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it.”

“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”

“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.”

“Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”

“When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.”

“Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!”

“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.”

“Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week.Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week.”

“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”

“Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”

“All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up.”

“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

“It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—?they get to know each other better.”

“Your wedding marks the end of your love story and the start of a new everlasting headache, yay!”

“Do not expect that your husband will change after marriage. You will have to guide him through the process. Happy wedding!”

“The actual way to keep your married life perfect is to let your husband think he is making all the decisions and do things your own way. Things will go your way and he won’t know any better.”